After keeping us waiting for a century, Mark Twain... →
youmightfindyourself: The great American writer left instructions not to publish his autobiography until 100 years after his death, which is now Exactly a century after rumours of his death turned out to be entirely accurate, one of Mark Twain’s dying wishes is at last coming true: an extensive, outspoken and revelatory autobiography which he devoted the last decade of his life to writing is...
A student has been saved from a vicious assault by... →
dorkvader: chrryblssmninja: fuckyeahadz: flypaperairplanes: pwnator: robotindisguise: Ninjas scared off three thugs who had the misfortune to attack the 27-year-old medical student outside their warrior school. The German exchange student had been targeted by the men while he was riding the late-night train home, The Sydney Morning Herald reported. They demanded he give them his...
I enjoy tractors and red wine. I feel that living your life in contradiction...– Zach Galifianakis (via likeneelyohara)
i dropped by costco today to pick up my glasses. after much flirtatiousness oozing from the optical guy, this happened...
him: (while adjusting my glasses) is there a picture in there? *looks at my locket
me: no, it's empty. *opened it and showed him
him: you should put a dime in there.
me: hmm, that's a pretty cool idea... but why?
him: so every time someone looks at it, they'll know you're a dimepiece.
me: aw thanks *in other words: oh god... men...
what a set-up! good one costco cutie optical guy, gooood one. lol.
“Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice-it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. it makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break hearts and love the wrong people and die....